Cassidy Goodson

This is one of the most disturbing child murder cases I've heard in years. So recent too, usually you hear of these kinds of things happening years and years ago... I can't even fathom what it would be like to be involved in this case. So upsetting.

That moment of panic when you realise someone else is in your house

I've been on my own in the house for a week, I leave to go to a meeting and on my way home I pick up some taco fries for dinner. I close the door behind me when I enter my flat, leave my food on the table and get a proper fork and plate from the kitchen. I notice there is light glowing from the hallway, I'm sure I turned all the lights off before I left the house.... I dig into the taco fries - nom nom nom! Quick trip to the loo.. the toilet seat is up, I'm sure I left it down last time! I hear a rustle coming from my bedroom.... my heart starts pounding.... too scared to look, I can't even scream, my heart is pounding too fast. There is a man in the house! I look for a weapon, anything to defend myself if I am attacked. The fork, I have a fucking FORK! Better than nothing I guess.. The door creaks and I can see the shadow of a man appearing from behind the bedroom door. 

"HEY BABE!"

Ahh... it's Marc 'suprising' me by coming home early after a week away recording the new Bellx1 album. And I thought I was about to lose my life! He's lucky he didn't lose his, I was so ready to pounce with my fork! :P

the world shuts down and then.... life seems to happen!

These past few weeks have been incredible for em, I dunno... things shutting down - being inaccessible - out of reach - there and the suddenly gone - OFF - dead - broken - locked - wrong address - mistaken - disconnected.

We've had no internet in our flat for 5 weeks, it's installed now but keeps shutting off for days at a time. My phone had been disconnected and yesterday I paid off the bill to reconnect it but the battery is dead and I left my phone in the last venue. I tried to get it charged up a little in a shop but the mean man in O2 wouldn't even let me charge it for a short time in there (they had one of the chargers but not for sale) because it had a meteor SIM card in it. He actually deconstructed the phone to check and then handed it back to me saying "NO". I was very disappointed with humanity at that moment in time. You'd think he'd just let me charge it anyway..

One of the most important postal deliveries I was expecting to receive this year (post related to the as yet unreleased album) was sent to an address so wrong to where I am living that it's a miracle it even found me!

Then tonight our car broke down. 1am, parked in the middle of town. We have filled the meter until 10am and hopefully it won't get toed....

I am having a great time though! absorbing myself in creative projects that have had to be pushed aside until now due to the full on commitment I've had to album, touring, business, since em.. well... all year really!

Still lots to be done and not a lot of cooperation from the gods, but it's nice feeling alive again!

from the deep, dark, icy, hole of winter,

Laura xxx

PS. I have set up a Tumblr account, for more of the photographic stuff I've been making which doesn't quite qualify for this "horror blog" type thing. I'm still intending on writing about gruesome stuff here when the feeling strikes me, but I am making photos nearly everyday so need somewhere to put them too.. you can follow my tumblr here:

http://laurasheeran.tumblr.com/

A Morning Brings Mourning

I woke this morning from a dream, singing a song that I managed to remember most of on waking! I got up and recorded as much of it as I could get out of my head into the laptop and spent the next 10 hours working consistently on the piece until I had completed it!

In the dream I met the father of my lover. He sadly passed away nearly 3 years ago before I had the chance to meet him, but in the dream I got that chance (even though he had just passed in the dream too....) funny how dreams do that - and are completely made in your own mind! Extraordinary the emotional impact a single dream can have on the body and mind. I fully felt when I woke that was carrying the grief of the whole family on my shoulders.

One thing was certain anyhow, nothing else on my agenda for the day was going to go ahead until this thing had gotten out of me..

At about 11pm I rose from seat realising I had almost crippled myself with hunger - I threw the ingredients of a chilli con carne in a pot and awaited my knight in shinning armor to arrive home with big fat chipper chips... taco fries, chedder cheese and burger sauce - best medicine!

This is the photo I have decided to use as the image for the song ("Mourning Song") Which I have now put up as a free download on my Pledge Campaign Page